The yoga sutra’s provided me this advice “you must constantly be truthful, nevertheless, a hurtful truth needs to not be uttered.” So if you’re saying something just to be upsetting, even if it’s real, then you need to discover the best ways to keep stum.
Recently someone crossed me. They belittled me, put me down and attacked me. (well it seemed like an attack at the time although I did confess after to being a little reduced, a bit over sensitive and rather premenstrual-mental) anyway … I responded. That’s the vital word here reacted. Emotionally charged, sustained with defensive anger, I attacked back, I snapped with my scorpion sting and hurt the man right where it harms– the confidence!
You’re accountable for your own activities and you cannot criticize another person. If someone hurts or attacks you and you become angry– you’re choosing temper. If you vent that temper, you’re choosing to. Then that temper enters into you, it becomes the color that you’ve chosen to put on that day.
However, this response doesn’t work for me any longer. Now that yoga exercise has made me increasingly analytical about every little thing that I state and do. After the emotion and temper had actually drained out of the situationIwas the one left sensation bad. I cried for 2 whole days and lay awake during the night regretting my vicious words and wishing that my tongue had held itself.
The yoga sutra’s provided me this advice “you must constantly be truthful, nevertheless, a hurtful truth needs to not be uttered.” So if you’re saying something just to be upsetting, even if it’s real, then you need to discover the best ways to keep stum.Yesterday I was reading my spiritual scriptures (continually trying to improve myself) and Eknath Easwaran dropped some, even more, light on my lesson.
“I’ve heard the most cultured of people, in the most affectionate of relationships, saying hurtful things just because they haven’t learned to train the mind never ever to savor any kind of damage.”
He goes on to say “Nothing burns in hell but self-will. A flare-up of self-will might seem justified at the time, however, for those who’re delicate, a stab of sorrow follows all prematurely. This is a great indication. It’s better to be sensitive, struggle with our blunders and learn not to repeat them than to undergo life, leaving a path of broken relationships and questioning why we harm within.”
So this is my course, my present from me to you. Discover how to act not respond. Discover how to hold back a disrespectful remark, even if you’re being insulted, took down, attacked or belittled. You must learn to think “Oh no– I don’t wish to lie awake during the night sensation sorry and regretting my words. Easwaran says that at some point the reversal of the conditioning will presume that if someone states or does something unkind to you that you’ll instantly feel sorry for that person (and not for yourself). That’s my new objective, definitely something worth working too.
This policy additionally falls under the moral principle of Ahimsa– non-harming. It’s selecting how you react to not hurt others but also to not damage yourself by your words to others.
The very least we can do is profit from our errors and wish that next time around we act in a different way. When you acknowledge an error and lie awake during the night unable to sleep since of it then you must make use of that pain to drive down to the depths of your inner being and bring about change. Link to your deeper awareness and aid cause the need to not act upon self -will once more.
Do not be too extreme on yourself, though, keep in mind that it’s much better to make mistakes, suffer and find out than not to grow at all.
Be gentle to yourself. Be kind to others. Love thy adversary in order to Love thyself.
+Prof: Koti Madhav Balu Chowdary & +Madhav Balu Chowdary